Author: Anna

Thank you to all who have so faithfully kept our family in their prayers, who have selflessly given of their time, resources, and love toward us.

My father-in-love, Craig, has been the amazing Uber driver for us these past two days. He picked us up at 530 am yesterday morning to bring us to the hospital for Josh’s surgery. A few blocks from our home, on the way to the freeway, a car passed us on the left through a double yellow line, hit an embankment, swerved in front of us, and then sped off to our right past us. By the grace of God, the two cars behind us and our vehicle were not hit.

Once we checked in at the hospital, Josh entered pre-op. We met his entire surgical team at various points, the nurses took his vitals, put in his IV’s, and he got changed and sanitized.

The goal going into the surgery was to remove Bruno and to perform it all robotically. The anesthesiologist asked Josh if he would be interested in a spinal tap, which would help his pain level for about 24 hours. Josh talked to a friend who is an anesthesiologist the previous night, and he recommended the spinal tap. He agreed to the spinal tap. I found out post-surgery that they attempted the spinal tap unsuccessfully.

He was asked several times to see if he was anxious. He said, “I’m not anxious for the surgery; I just want to make sure that they get all of this cancer out me.”

So, after needle pokes, prayer, and final kisses, they wheeled Josh back into surgery.

We waited in the waiting room. I occasionally received a text message with an update. Some dear family members and an amazing friend came and waited with Papa and me at different times. Sweet ladies from church had packed a cooler full of food to enjoy the next few days and a backpack of all things cozy. The surgery was at least five hours, closer to 6. As the surgery ended, I received a call from the surgeon, and he expressed incredible news.

“The surgery was successful, and we were able to accomplish what we set out to do. I was able to remove the tumor, and there was no sign that the cancer had spread. We were also able to perform the surgery robotically, which was our original goal. Josh is doing well and will be in recovery for about two hours. “

Happy tears! Of course, I expressed my heartfelt thanks to Dr. Ahmad and said, “God bless you.”

We are overjoyed with this news and incredibly thankful to the Lord for his mercy and faithfulness. Josh and I have often reflected on the fact that the army that has surrounded us for this journey has appeared to be hand-picked. Incredible doctors, nurses, dear family, supportive and endearing friends…everyone has been intentional and compassionate. We continue to place Josh’s complete healing into the Lord’s hands. The road ahead will be unique and a tad long, but this is the biggest weight off our shoulders with an encouraging outcome.

As Josh was waking up last night, he was very concerned to talk to our kiddos and share the good news, too. Addy and Josiah have been troopers in this journey. Two nights before surgery, Josh sat down with them and carefully walked them through what would take place with his surgery. He described the loop ileostomy and the procedure that would rework the sphincter and where the bag would be placed. We giggled over his half-shaven tummy and placement dots by his wound care nurse earlier that day. I’m so proud of my husband for always taking the time to carefully explain these hard-to-understand concepts to our kids and others who have had questions.

I’m writing this almost 24 hours post-surgery, sitting in Josh’s hospital room with his Dad. When I walked in this morning, he was working with two nurses to get up from bed, stand, and walk across the room, and then sit up in his chair. The wound is tender, and that is absolutely to be expected. His vitals have been good, and his pain has been between a four and a five. The ileostomy bag isn’t filling up just yet, and wound care should be here sometime today. A nutritionalist was in and explained important tips with regard to food moving forward, especially for the next seven weeks. Low fiber, no seeds, nuts, raw fruits or veggies, or skins.

Isn’t that smile amazing?!

Special thank you to Mema, Uncle Joey and the aunties for caring for our kiddos so well. And to Papa for being the best Uber driver, keeping me safe in downtown Portland!

Josh had a time of worship in his hospital bed last night, and I did too when I returned home last night. We’re incredibly grateful for the outcome of this surgery and feel hopeful for the next steps. And, as I wrote to a few friends last night, the brevity of life is not lost on us. Within about a week, we lost a friend to cancer, and another who had battled cancer passed suddenly from a stroke.

We truly never know how the Lord will use our time here on this earth. For now, we are grateful that He continues to write this story of ours and simply want it to be all for his glory.

Bless you, dear friends and family, for upholding us so well during this time. Your prayers and intentionality have sustained us. We literally have faithful prayer warriors praying all over the nation, and some even oversee’s. Talk about the body of Christ in action!

Bruno is dead!!!

Another one bites the dust! Chemo round 5 is in the books (with disconnect day tomorrow). We are grateful to be this far and are hoping and praying that the tumor is not only shrinking but is going to be absolutely gone when scans are done after the last round in a few weeks.

Josh’s neuropathy pain began once again while he was still in the chair yesterday (pretty normal), hence the stellar-looking black gloves he’s sportin’. And he’s back playing the mental game after having about 3 or 4 pretty good days of reprieve prior to this round beginning. This is the new (hopefully temporary) norm.

I’m so grateful that Josh was up for preaching on Sunday. His last sermon was on Father’s Day. We’re so grateful the Lord has been healing him from the cold/cough he had for a few weeks.

His white blood cell count was once again pretty low yesterday, as was expected since he didn’t have the shot for that last round. So, when he gets disconnected tomorrow, he will once again need the long-term shot to help raise his levels.

Six rounds of chemo is what was determined at the beginning, so after this next round, he will receive two scans to determine next steps. Please pray with us for the miracle of this tumor being completely gone and next steps won’t even be needed! Josh has been sharing the Lord and how he is working throughout this process and we believe that whatever the outcome, God is still working in the midst of this story.

I don’t think we have shared on the blog yet, but our kids decided several weeks ago to name the tumor. This is a way they are processing all of this and (if you know our family) even providing a little comic relief. I had purchased some shoes for Josh on Amazon for him to try on. The brand name of the shoes was “Bruno Marc” (not to be confused with the singer, Bruno Mars). I ended up needing to return the shoes because they didn’t fit. So, because the shoes weren’t wanted and didn’t work, the kids decided to name the tumor Bruno Marc because the they don’t want the tumor and have given it an eviction notice.

Josiah decided to make Josh a Lego scene for Father’s Day. The idea was that the tumor (Bruno Marc) was being attacked by these fierce-some looking Lego men with fire and weapons. His card included sentiments like “Kick Cancer’s Butt” and “Kill Bruno Marc.” For weeks, we’ve been telling the nurses at Josh’s clinic all about Bruno and the Lego’s. Josh was able to take a picture of the scene, and we got it printed out to bring to the nurses and doctors. I’ve included the pictures below. The nurses and doctors were blown away by what Josiah created. Yesterday, it hit me like it was something out of play therapy, and the nurses agreed. They were amazed at how both of our kids have been processing their Dad’s cancer. The pictures are now hung in the nurses’ station as a little image of hope and even a little humor.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. We have heard from a few friends who are also going through very difficult health trials or have family members who are. God has been working beautifully through all of these stories. Some are experiencing healing, reprieve, and good results, and this has been so awesome to hear. We’re encouraged by this news.

A dear friend sent us some song lyrics the other day, reminiscent of our time at Multnomah Bible College. I want to leave you with some of those lyrics to encourage your hearts.

“My faith has found a resting place, not in device or creed;

I trust the ever living One,

His wounds for me shall plead.

I need no other argument,

I need no other plea,

It is enough that Jesus saves and that he died for me.

Enough for me that Jesus saves,

This ends my fear and doubt;

A sinful soul I come to Him,

He’ll never cast me out.

My heart is leaning on the Word,

The living Word of God,

Salvation by my Savior’s Name,

Salvation through His blood.

My great Physician heals the sick,

The lost He came to save;

For me His precious blood He shed,

For me His life He gave.”

Leading up to Josh’s fourth cycle of chemo was eventful! We had some sickness in the family this week. It began with the kiddos and passed on to me. We did our best to keep things wiped down and clean at home so as not to expose Josh. At the end of the week, Josh seemed to start not feeling great, and we were worried it might affect his ability to have his next treatment, especially since his white blood cell count was low. He had horrible sinus pain for 4 days; worried of a sinus infection. He woke up on Tuesday with zero pain, like nothing had been the problem the days before; this was an absolute miracle to have no pain as he did the days before! We are so thankful to report that Josh’s numbers were beautiful yesterday, and he could have his treatment! Thanks be to God!

Josh acknowledged to his doctor and nurses yesterday his gratitude to the Lord through all of this. Yes, the Lord provided this shot to improve his white blood cells, and yes, the Lord continued to work within his body. Josh also said we have an incredible support system. Our church body and leadership have told Josh that if he just can’t make a Sunday he is supposed to preach, they have coverage for him. They want him to focus on getting better. He continues to work mostly from home, making occasional trips to the office. Our wonderful church admin, Rachael has been phenomenal holding things down there and we are so thankful for her.

This is not something we take lightly; we know that many receive their treatments and need to head back to work. This whole process has made us so grateful and also aware of what a journey like cancer can be, the toll it can take on personal mental health, family life, jobs, and commitments. We don’t ever want to become shallow in our understanding of this. It has taken so many people coming around us to make this burden and season a little less heavy. I’m sure we all know someone or multiple people going through a trying health crisis in their lives. How we choose to show up during these times can truly make all the difference. And what about those who don’t have a deadline for their trial, but they still endure? How can we support those dear ones in our lives?

Josh’s neuropathy after treatment continues to be his biggest symptom. I found him some special gloves that are made for neuropathy, and he has been wearing those. He still has a large window after treatment where he can’t go into a fridge without the gloves on, and also drinks lukewarm water. Coldness does weird things to him. He’s described it as if your leg is asleep, that tingling feeling, but fairly constant.

These charts will help you see how drastically low his numbers got and, as of yesterday, how high they had spiked! We were told the long-acting shot slowly releases over time.

Because his numbers are good, his doctor will not be giving him the shot for boosting his white blood cell count tomorrow when we go in to disconnect. Most likely, he will need it the following round in two weeks.

Thank you for the amazing support and prayers. What an awesome team the Lord has surrounded us with.

The words of Josh:

Thank you so much to everyone from all over the world (seriously he have people all over praying). Your prayers are working. Being halfway through this we are anticipating, Lord willing, some great news that the tumor is gone. We are praying that the chemo melts the tumor and it will be gone from my body and nothing else is needed.

Also, want to acknowledge as Anna pointed out that this journey has been difficult for someone like me who is very active and loves helping others. During this time I have needed others to help me do things I normally do and feel weird in asking for help. But what I seen is that people are wanting to help and that brings joy knowing people can use their gifts to bless the family. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR CARE, SHOWING UP, HELPING AND YOUR REACHING OUT!!

By the way, thank you to those who are committed to making those port pillows! I am loving mine and looking forward to delivering the pillows to the clinic soon! If you have some made please bring to the church! I would be blessed to take whatever we can but honestly I would love to see 500 port pillows delivered to the clinic! Can we do that?? I think we can! If you want to do a port pillows sewing project at the church we can arrange that-reach out to Rachael in the office to schedule that and to publicize that!

Love you all so much!

Pastor Josh

June is National Cancer Survivors Month. Our clinic was amazing, and at Josh’s last chemo, they had us enter a raffle for a few different themed baskets. We didn’t have to pay anything for our raffle ticket, but got to put a ticket in for which basket we liked. I wouldn’t say we’re typically people who win these sorts of things, so we were quite tickled when we found out we won a coffee and tea-themed basket! And what a basket it is! Hand-picked selections of local coffees, unique tea, honey stirrers, mugs, iced tea pitcher, boba tea, kitchen towels, etc. We were floored to receive this, and it honestly felt like a smile from God.

This morning, Josh began his third chemo cycle. He has described the past few rounds as a mental game where he starts to feel stronger a few days before his next round begins, and then has to start the next cycle. We are praying that this cycle goes smoothly. This morning on our drive to the clinic, we listened to the Worship Initiative Devo that we referenced previously. Today’s song was “Be Thou My Vision,” and the timing couldn’t have been better.

Josh’s Neutrophil levels were once again low this morning; however, they were still able to give him his chemo treatment today. He will also receive the long-term growth hormone shot on Friday, when his pump gets disconnected. This will help his white blood cell count rise again.

Thank you so much, dear friends, for your continued support, meals, prayers, and care. Josh has his man-purse back with the good stuff for a few days and was able to use a seat belt pillow that our friend Hailey made for him to protect his port. We are learning a new language through this process, and Josh is getting stylish in the process!

Josh and I brought what has become our favorite game to play together to chemo today, Phase 10. Before Josh got sleepy, we played through most rounds!

From the pen of Josh: I have a goal for my sewing friends. I would love to give 100-200 port pillows to the clinic for other patients. If you are a sewing person and want to help out here are the instructions: https://frommycarolinahome.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/portsofties-for-chemo-patients.pdf

The pillows can be dropped off at Park Place Church (13933 Gain St)
Thank you so much for loving on my fellow cancer patients!

Thank you all for your prayers today that our insurance would approve a needed injection to help boost Josh’s white blood cell count. The Lord has answered those prayers and moved within the doctor’s communication to the insurance. Josh’s count was even lower today, as expected, so we are very grateful that he was able to get the shot. Today was long with two trips to his clinic, and he will need to return tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday to get additional shots. Please continue to pray for his stamina and perseverance.

Josh’s injections help to lower the risk of infection in people who are receiving chemotherapy and will help to produce more white blood cells.

We’re also trying to focus on good, clean eating, too. Lots of lean proteins, greens, some berries, and citrus for their benefits, cutting out sugar, etc. Not totally different from how we typically try to eat, but also watching carbs. Years ago, we cut out toxic seed oils and only use olive oil, avocado oil, or coconut oil. I probably bum my kids out because I don’t like to buy processed foods and have them in our home. I don’t even like to buy Goldfish (sorry, kids). We’re not perfect, but I know we see a big difference when we don’t eat the junk. Of course, there is balance and moderation in all these things; these are just choices we make for what is in our own home.

We would like to leave you with something that has been encouraging our family in this season. We’ve been fans of Shane and Shane and Worship Initiative, and their worship albums for a long time. They released a DEVO app that has been fun to listen to Monday- Friday. They sing one of their worship songs acoustically and encourage those who listen in the Word of God with some corresponding thoughts and Scripture related to the song. We’ve been encouraged and edified the past two weeks with this and wanted to share it with all of you. If you’re interested in doing these DEVO’s with us, go to your app store and search “Daily Devo” (Worship Initiative). They will text you Monday to Friday with the Devo of the day. We hope you’ll be encouraged by this sweet time with the Lord and other believers.

Here’s a link to join:

https://app.theworshipinitiative.com/devotional-app

When Josh received his second treatment of chemo Wednesday, his doctor let us know that his white blood cell count was a little low. She wasn’t overly concerned and said he’s been a little on the low end, but that in order to receive chemo, his number would need to be a little higher. We proceeded with chemo that day, and she scheduled him to receive a shot today when he went in to have his pump disconnected. The shot would help boost his white blood cell count before his next treatment.

Today, Josh went in to have his pump disconnected and to temporarily say goodbye to his man-purse. His doctor let him know that they had been fighting with our insurance over the necessary shot he was to receive today. Our insurance wouldn’t approve it unless his number was even lower. Talk about a catch-22. We don’t want his number to be too low to prevent him from receiving chemo, but our insurance needs his number to be lower so they can approve the necessary shot! Make it make sense!

So, now Josh will need to go in for another blood draw on Monday morning. His doctor believes his number will be lower, and they will again try to have the shot approved by our insurance.

Prayer warriors, please pray that our insurance will approve this shot without any further delay!

A very special thank you to our dear Idaho friends, the Hawes’, who came and spent special time with our kids yesterday and helped transport Josh to his appointment today while I got Addy ready for her dance dress rehearsal. Addy’s friend “B” even got to help with Addy’s makeup! And a big thank you to Uncle Joey and family for loving our Josiah extra today!

Josh began his second cycle of chemo this morning. We are learning a new vocabulary in this journey, and by the end, we just might acquire a degree in a new language. Our handy calendar, which was given to us a few weeks ago, includes the treatment schedule. They abbreviate it like this: C2D1 (which stands for Cycle Two Day One).

The past week went much smoother for Josh. He had more energy (maybe more than me), a bigger appetite, and was even able to go to the office, have a few meetings, and be all together more “normal.” He was even able to return to our nightly bedtime rituals with the kids, which is anything but quiet, and it sounds like stampeding elephants meeting the apocalypse from downstairs. If you have ever been to our home around this time, you fully understand what I’m explaining. The kids have to be careful around their daddy’s port, so it’s about 10 percent milder in bedtime rituals than normal.

We’re learning that the chemo routine is a bit of a mind game where you feel lousy for a few days, and just when you start to feel better, the cycle starts all over again. Nevertheless, we’re grateful to be past the crazy of two weeks ago, which also included getting Josh’s port installed and not even 18 hours later going in for his first round of chemo. The tenderness of the port area was still painful last time and the emotions were high.

Josh and I are hopeful that this cycle might be smoother overall. He went for another Nutritional IV this past week to help support his body during the harshness of chemo. Monday, we went to an almost two-hour consultation with another incredible doctor, this time an oncology radiologist. We continue to be amazed at the incredible team surrounding Josh during this time. This doctor and his nurse/intake worker spent quality time with us, helping us see some options with radiology. There is a chance that following chemo that Josh will most likely need either surgery and radiation or one or the other. Who knows, there might be other options available as we get closer to that point as well. The goal is obviously to shrink and get rid of the cancer and prevent it from coming back. This is all a big waiting game, and we are definitely learning so much in trusting in our all-seeing, all-knowing God through it all.

Josh came home today after treatment with his fancy man-purse, which sounds like a meowing kitty every couple of minutes. We keep thinking our cat, Belle, is talking to us. He will go back Friday to have the pump disconnected, and that will complete this second cycle. Our friend Hailey stitched Josh a special patch to go on his bag, highlighting one of our favorite worship songs right now. We didn’t have a chance to properly put it on the bag today, but our nurse Leo helped temporarily secure it with special tape.

Thank you all for your continued prayers, notes, meals, lawn mowing, and play dates for our kids. We don’t know how people would get through these times without the Lord and an amazing team.

I had Addy take a picture of our scripture wall, my sister-in-love Abbie and I are creating. These are the scriptures that so many of you have sent us over the last several weeks.

This is Josh using the keyboard to send greetings (I sound like the Apostle Paul at the close of a letter!).

Thank you for all the prayers. Your prayers are breaking through the dark fog and the moments of isolation that cancer brings with it. The Lord has me and us on this journey for some reason but we have the backing of the best army in the universe, GOD’S ARMY! This cancer doesn’t stand a chance with you all. No matter what God is in control and sustaining us as well.

Blessings to you all in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. May you find peace, salvation and strength in the powerful name of Jesus.

This battle belongs to the Lord and as we have been studying in Joshua, we have to fight these battles but the Lord is there with us and has not forsaken us.

-Josh

Let me begin by once again stating how wonderfully overwhelmed we are with all of the prayers, hugs, and intentional care. We are truly being sustained by it all. I’m so grateful for friends who helped give our kiddos some awesome friend time today, while Josh and I went to have his pump disconnected and for him to receive an iron infusion.

The day started super rough with lots of nausea, heavy exhaustion and just overall yuck. Josh slept here and there but didn’t have much of an appetite for much of the day. Those of you that have walked this road know how excruciating it is to watch someone you love totally not be their normal self. I found myself doing normal things around the house and helping our kids try to finish up our homeschool year (whatever that means) and then being totally saddened to see Josh the way he was. I know it was just one of those days where we are all adjusting to a bit of a new norm.

God has been so good to send us incredible nurses in this journey. I mean, I loved nurses before this but I have a whole new respect for this job. And having seen my mom and dad go through countless health trials over the years and the teams that have surrounded them is quite humbling to say the least. These people do incredible work day in and day out. It can’t be easy working with cancer patients either. I’m amazed by their grace, patience and joy they exude.

In Josh’s normal chemo weeks (every other week), he won’t be going through quite as much as he did this week. Getting that port installed on Monday and then immediately beginning chemo the next day was rough. His wound from the port was still super tender. His normal routine will be chemo and then bringing the pump in the bag home for two days and then returning to have the pump disconnected. With the iron infusion today, that added about an hour to about a half hour that it normally will be to disconnect the pump.

And, of course, for our son Josiah, who has become a Marvel fan, we have to call dad IRON MAN!! He mustered up this IRON MAN smile for this picture and that was great to see!

I’m glad to report that about the time we were leaving, Josh was beginning to perk up just a bit more. Tonight the nausea is slightly better too. Since the port bandages are half way off now, he’s closer to being free completely and in a few days he can fully submerge for a shower. Praying tonight can be really restful.

I’m so thankful for so many offering to bring us meals and for those that already have! I now have three people offering to set up a meal train for us, so I just might be saying yes to that soon! Josh has some restrictions to his diet too, so I’m hoping that won’t be too complicated! This week especially has been so helpful to not have to worry about one more thing. Next week is his off week and if all goes as planned, his next treatment is June 4 bright and early.

And thank you to the two friends who let me cry today and for amazing hugs when I was dropping our kiddos off. Some days this whole thing is more overwhelming than others. The kids and I were able to wrap up our last co-op of the school year yesterday. Pastor Josh was a part of our year and it was very hard for him to not be there as normal, helping with set up, making coffee and catching up with the kids! I decided to facetime him from our Assembly (I might have lost it then too) and that was so sweet to have the kids say a quick hello to him.

Would you all please also pray for some dear friends who are walking through similar roads as us right now. Please pray for Luke, Jim, Bryan, Uncle Brent, Doug…I’m sure we all know someone walking through scary health diagnoses. We feel like people are coming out of the wood work who are experiencing cancer.

Seasons like this sure make me long for that day when Jesus returns to make all things new, no more sickness, disease, or pain. I truly can’t imagine going through the ugly evils of this world without the Lord. I had worship music playing in the background of our home this morning and it was such a comfort, sweet reminders of who our God and that he is here with us in all of this.

Anna

Josh and I were able to get away for two nights to the Oregon Garden, thanks to my in-laws. Only took us a few years to use the gift they gave us (we’re awful at getting away). On the 26th, we celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. We’re so grateful for this much needed time away, especially right before the start of a busy week and difficult season we are entering into. The walk in the beautiful garden, enjoying downtown quaint Silverton and several rounds of Phase 10 were just what was needed.

Yesterday our sweet church body prayed over us after service. This fellowship has been so wonderful in countless ways.

This afternoon, Josh got his port installed. We again had an amazing team of nurses and a doctor. Everyone was so kind and even had just the right amount of humor to keep our spirits light. The actual procedure was only 15 minutes. But they had to do more blood work and with prep time and recovery time, we were at the hospital about five hours. Josh did great but wasn’t a fan of the burning lidocaine.

When we got home some dear friends brought us a delicious dinner that really hit the spot and another dear friend brought yummy treats. Our tummy’s and our hearts are full with all of this love. We are just marveling at the Lord’s goodness and provision.

Tonight, the pain is more evident and Josh has been icing the wound area. We have to be at the oncologist tomorrow at 9 am for his first treatment. Tomorrow will be a little bit of a longer day and we are praying that his body tolerates the treatment well. He’s been such a trooper all day, nerves and pain and all. Please continue to pray for him this week and all that is before him. We are truly being sustained by all of the prayer, support and love.